I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
