you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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