We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
