I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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