Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
