we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
