so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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