listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
