yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
