i need an iv and a liver transplant
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
