lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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