I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
