Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize