Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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