maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I didn't notice because vodka
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
