drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
