You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
