is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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