I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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