Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
