forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
