if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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