You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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