I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
