Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she looked like the before picture.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
