am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
