I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
