It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just invented taco cereal.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
