You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
