it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
