I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
