my room smells like sperm. sweet.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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