I wanna bring you to show and tell
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
