Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
