he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hippo gnu deer
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
