He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
