is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Holy sore nipples Batman
and you fell through a lawn chair
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
