i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
