you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize