I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize