Need sex. Gaining weight.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
