but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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