is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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