On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
