Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
