Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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