I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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