I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
