ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
