worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
