I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
