How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
