Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
