So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
