got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
