Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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