he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
