I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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