I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
