If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
