So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
