he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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