bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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