He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Shame is for Republicans.
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